Take Off the Rose-Colored Glasses and Fire PollyAnna!

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.TamingTenseTimes.com

The holidays are over. The credit card bills are arriving. The economy has not changed, and gas prices are increasing. Tense? Maybe, just a little?

Magic is elusive. And, the tooth fairy just isn’t making house calls leaving cash surprises. Guess we’ll have to opt for what’s left: reality.

First steps: throw away the rose-colored glasses and give up our friend, PollyAnna. There are a few areas of life that really need some attention when the stuff seems to be hitting the fan: finances, relationships, work, and beliefs and values. And, in the opposite order! T

QUICK IDEAS TO GET STARTED: Believe me, I’ve been doing them, so, I know the hesitation you mioght feel, or the urgent desire to visit your long-lost friend.

FINANCES: Grab the check book, the bank statements and the wallet and sit down with a nice hot cup of something soothing because it’s going to be a bit of a ride. We don’t need to be financially astute to add and subtract. It’s not too difficult to interpret the minus sign in front of a bank balance, is it? We simply have to be honest, really honest with ourselves.

Find out how much money you have in every possible location. Do this first so that you know your starting point.

Bite the bullet and find out exactly what you owe. I keep a spreadsheet on each credit card to keep me aware of the effects of buying and paying. Usually not a comforting thing because it’s SO easy to buy, isn’t it? Just seeing it all in print is both sobering and helpful.

Now, decide how you are going to marry these two: the money and the debt. No matter how small the payment, the balance will go down if you don’t use the card. Strange, but that’s the way it works.

Handle the money situation. Do not avoid it, even though it would be so lovely.

They say…whomever “they” is…that it we teach what we need to learn. So, I’m going to go and work on those spreadsheets and continue with more ideas in the next post.

(How about writing a comment on this blog entry and let us know when you’ve done the finance bit? It would be more fun to walk through this together, wouldn’t it? )

Happy New Year!
Rhoberta

It Came Upon a Midnight Clear...and kept me up!

(C) Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

It's that time of year when carols run through your head, especially because they have already been playing for a couple of weeks in department stores everywhere. But, it's a whole different matter when they relate to interrupting my sleep!

It came upon a midnight clear. It was the startling recognition that now, more than any other time, the things that I help folks do to build better lives, relationships and businesses are critical. There is no more opportunity to say,

"I'll get the help I need someday. This is it!"

You cannot save yourself out of a recession. You have to invest your way out of it, carefully and purposefully. You have to invest in the expertise that will help you personally move systematically forward right now. There is no time to try things. You have to find what works and consistently do it to create the results you want. That's where a coach's insights are objective and helpful.

So, it kept me up, thinking about how to tell folks how I can help them without looking like just another person wanting their money. The conclusion I came to was that I simply cannot do anything but tell you these two things:

> I've walked through difficult times before and not only survived, but thrived, so I can help you navigate through and profit.

> I've spent masses of money acquiring the insights, information and business acumen I have to help you create the life, relationships and businesses you want, so, you don't have to!

So, midnight and clarity. For me, it was recognizing how important it is to give the gifts I have. So, I'm creating several group coaching opportunities so that new clients can get kick-started. Let me know where you're at in your quest. I want to create coaching groups that will meet your immediate needs.

Now onto, Deck the halls.....

Cheers,
Rhoberta

P.S. Are you a member of www.TamingTenseTimes.com yet? There is a wealth of information, insights and inspiration available for only $5.97 a month...and you get 20% discount on all my books and audio. Snap it up!

"It's time for a new vision for yourself. "

(C) Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

"It's time for a new vision for yourself."


That's what I've been saying to myself for the past four days. And, I'm right! It is time to step back and look at who I am and what I'm doing. More importantly for me, I need to look at how I am serving the life of the world.

What am I doing to make this world a more compassionate, loving and healthy place? Of course, I do that in my work as a speaker, coach and consultant. I help folks develop relationships that work, relationships with themselves, with those in their life and workplaces, that are healthy, focused and productive. In fact, those relationships are also profitable all the way round!

Working on the web with my sixty plus websites, I also offer a lot of practical and inspiring content. So, that's also working.

As I worked on this new vision for myself, I realized that my non-profit contributions of energy, time, talent and treasure were not quite as rich as I wanted them to be. So, I took an idea I had a year ago and found that its time had come. I'm starting a non-profit and the idea is catching on quickly. If you'd like to know more about it...and you either a) are a woman old enough to be a grandmother, or, b) would like to support a very loving organization meeting a currently unmet need, send me an email to wypate@yahoo.com and I'll tell you all about it before the website launches. I'll share the secret!

Cheers,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Counselor. Consultant. Coach. Catalyst.
...and Founder of a very exciting new non-profit....:)

www.OptimizeInstitute.com
www.TamingTenseTimes.com

Two Essential Ingredients to Reducing Anxiety & Optimizing Resources

(C) Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

The past weekend was Thanksgiving in the USA. It was the perfect time to reflect on much more than all I am thankful and grateful for. I thought about what I bring to folks that others may not be able to bring. It is the two essential ingredients to reducing anxiety and optimizing resources...for a start.

As I spoke with friends over the weekend, friends of a similar age, those two essential ingredients came up over and over. We've all been through difficult times, tense times. As a single mother of three, receiving very little child support, I worked full-time and still managed to get three university degrees. I learned a few important, life-saving things about making dollars stretch, creating realistic budgets and maintaining healthy living. That's why I created the new membership website at http://www.TamingTenseTimes.com so that I can pass on all that I've learned as a Counselor, coach and single mother.

Now, I have grandchildren. One is a Generation X who is having a tough time realizing that the world doesn't owe him a living and that his Mom is not responsible for his pizza needs and that her days as a chauffeur are over. He has a job and he is nineteen. Sobering learning for many young people, for sure!

So,the two essential ingredients for reducing anxiety and optimizing resources are:

1. Tell the Truth...to yourself and others. We're all living in the same economy and you've got yourself into this position. Tell the truth. Don't look for anyone to blame. Just tell yourself the truth. Admit that you might have been living in a dream world complete with endless credit cards, and take charge now.

2. Get the Information You Need...to get on the path to true responsiblity and accountability. You are the only one who can do what it takes to create the situation you want. It's up to you. Get the help you need by finding the information that will make the difference.

These sound so simple, but, for many, they are not easy. They are, however, do-able. No one is coming to the rescue. You're an adult and you have to man-up or woman-up. A good friend once gave me a beautiful, decorative pillow with these words embroidered on it:

Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!

That's what we all have to do now. And, the sooner we do it, the sooner things will get better in our lives.

I know you can do it.
Rhoberta

P.S. I'll help. Get the tips, strategies and solutions by becoming a member of www.TamingTenseTimes.com and get your copy of Prevent Free Fall: Pack Your Own Parachute, too. Very practical. Very realistic. Very helpful. Do it now and get started right away!

You Are Rich If...

You Are Rich If...

You remember the image of something so exquisitely beautiful it took your breath away.

You can hear a friend's words of encouragement still ringing in your ear.

You remember one wise thing a caring adult told you.

You remember a time when laughter caused tears to run down your cheeks and you to double over to catch your breath.

You have any holiday tradition that you still insist on following, no matter how trivial or crazy.

You have someone with whom you have no secrets, some who knows you well and loves you because of it.

You know how it feels to have your heart expand with love.

You like yourself and demonstrate it by treating yourself well.

You know what brings you joy and you create it purposefully.

You have a happy memory that lights you up on dark days.

You see the cup half full, and know you are holding the pitcher to fill it.

You love freely without judgment, just because it's who you are.

You have released past hurts as there is no remedy.

You embrace the present moment because it is the only time you have.

You have someone to call who will brighten up by hearing your voice.

You know there is no one to blame and no longer go looking for them.

You believe you are beautiful in every way.

You notice and appreciate small joys, wonders and gestures as well as the big ones.

You believe in yourself and others.

Someone lights up when you walk in the room.

You have loved and been loved by a dog.

Every day you find something for which to give thanks.


I give thanks for you for...

...finding the sunlight and walking in it even when the world wants to tell you it is raining and there's more to come.

...loving life because you're breathing--and it beats what is in second place.

...bringing a smile to someone's face by putting one on your own.

...taking the time to appreciate the presence of another in your life.

...reaching out to say "Thank you" for the small things that touch your heart and mind.

...living your truth, no matter what those around you have to say about it.

...remembering that life is a journey to be experienced fully, not a destination to reach or a race to be won.

...being ever aware of the gift of Life in every moment, opening it and being delighted with whatever is in the package.

...and for being a center of peace, love and well-being--on purpose.


Happy Thanksgiving!

Many blessings, much love and great joy,
Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Founder, Spiritual Living Network
www.SpiritualLivingNetwork.com

The Fear of Being Sold Something

As an infopreneur--one who offers insights and information for a living--I'm finding that folks have a fear of being sold something. Do you think that's true?

I've taking a strong stand on the side of:

> not sending emails to my subscribers lists too frequently
> making sure that I only send things of true value that I recommend
> giving great value in free teleseminars
> not using scare tactics and lack as a way of creating urgency to buy something

...and the list goes on.

My reward: people who love to get free things and never pay for anything, generally. Of course, I have some valued clients who also value what I offer them, however, that word "generally" is a big one.

Are we so unwilling to know ourselves and what we want or need that we simply take without buying? Or, are we so undiscerning that we get fooled by clever, pscyhologically-based marketing language that sweeps us up and has us handing over money that we really don't have. That could be a big part of what this grand economic change in our country is based on: people wanting a whole lot for nothing. That IS the basis of upping your salary without doing anything more. That IS the basis for charging more and more to "see what the market will bear" without adding more and more value.

So, what are you afraid of? Buy from people you trust to bring you the insights, information or inspiration you find valuable. That's a fair exchange!

Cheers,
Rhoberta

Where Does the Wisdom Lie?

Today I was driving, doing errands, and thinking about how to determine what the right next thing to do really is. On October 15, I became a US citizen, but did not have to give up my Canadian citizenship to do it. That was a blessing. So, the question came to me because my investments are in Canada and the Canadian dollar is tumbling once again. That means tension: tension because I have to pay my bills in US dollars.

This really was driven home to me before I realized the impact things had had on the Canadian dollar about four weeks ago. I took $2500 out of a Canadian account to pay for a few things here in the US. I nearly fell over when I received the foreign exchange notice in the mail shortly after: $614.95 in exchange. That $614.95 is lost and gone forever. It did not pay a bill, or pay for some treat, fun or luxury. It was simply lost.

So the question on my mind is: do I return to live in Canada and earn US dollars so that the living is made much easier with the exchange rate in my favor? Or, do I just keep looking for good ways to increase my income in the US and not uproot myself? Do I look at the current situation as requiring action? Or, do I say, 'This too shall pass." and wait it out.

It's a question of where the wisdom lies. It is the place between being reactive and being realistic. It's a conundrum, for sure.

Today, I have not come to a conclusion. If you have an insight, or are experiencing a similar dilemna, I hope you'll comment.

Cheers,
Rhoberta