tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87059709146806778462011-11-27T16:29:49.297-08:00Tough Times are Tense Times. Whether it is the economy, life, relationships, bosses, co-workers or finances, tense times need taming! Values. Communication Skills. Conflict Management. Negotiation. Goals. Improving Profits. Managing Relationships. Dr. Rhoberta Shaler shares tips, strategies, solutions and support for taming tough times and tense teams. Insights for handling difficult times, difficult situations AND difficult people. Join in with your questions and comments. You're welcome!Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.comBlogger231100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-28335251104224733992009-01-05T13:53:00.000-08:002009-01-05T14:12:48.772-08:00

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhDwww.TamingTenseTimes.com The holidays are over. The credit card bills are arriving. The economy has not changed, and gas prices are increasing. Tense? Maybe, just a little? Magic is elusive. And, the tooth fairy just isn’t making house calls leaving cash surprises. Guess we’ll have to opt for what’s left: reality. First steps: throw away the rose-colored glasses and give up

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-56319898310565172062008-12-05T13:14:00.000-08:002008-12-05T13:28:01.689-08:00

(C) Rhoberta Shaler, PhDIt's that time of year when carols run through your head, especially because they have already been playing for a couple of weeks in department stores everywhere. But, it's a whole different matter when they relate to interrupting my sleep! It came upon a midnight clear. It was the startling recognition that now, more than any other time, the things that I help folks do to

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-5699003397569369042008-12-04T11:30:00.002-08:002010-06-06T13:20:04.628-07:00

(C) Rhoberta Shaler, PhD"It's time for a new vision for yourself." That's what I've been saying to myself for the past four days. And, I'm right! It is time to step back and look at who I am and what I'm doing. More importantly for me, I need to look at how I am serving the life of the world. What am I doing to make this world a more compassionate, loving and healthy place? Of course, I do that

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-10841210767745113592008-12-01T13:11:00.000-08:002010-06-06T13:20:35.802-07:00

(C) Rhoberta Shaler, PhDThe past weekend was Thanksgiving in the USA. It was the perfect time to reflect on much more than all I am thankful and grateful for. I thought about what I bring to folks that others may not be able to bring. It is the two essential ingredients to reducing anxiety and optimizing resources...for a start. As I spoke with friends over the weekend, friends of a similar age,

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-31227801681145540172008-11-27T09:34:00.000-08:002008-11-27T09:35:28.211-08:00

You Are Rich If...You remember the image of something so exquisitely beautiful it took your breath away.You can hear a friend's words of encouragement still ringing in your ear.You remember one wise thing a caring adult told you.You remember a time when laughter caused tears to run down your cheeks and you to double over to catch your breath.You have any holiday tradition that you still insist on

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-50868547113128109142008-11-24T12:09:00.000-08:002008-11-24T12:27:30.062-08:00

As an infopreneur--one who offers insights and information for a living--I'm finding that folks have a fear of being sold something. Do you think that's true?I've taking a strong stand on the side of:> not sending emails to my subscribers lists too frequently> making sure that I only send things of true value that I recommend> giving great value in free teleseminars> not using scare tactics and

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-86840358333806642132008-11-21T14:00:00.001-08:002008-11-21T14:06:51.127-08:00

Today I was driving, doing errands, and thinking about how to determine what the right next thing to do really is. On October 15, I became a US citizen, but did not have to give up my Canadian citizenship to do it. That was a blessing. So, the question came to me because my investments are in Canada and the Canadian dollar is tumbling once again. That means tension: tension because I have to pay

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-75441669140838842372008-11-20T12:34:00.000-08:002008-11-20T12:44:37.505-08:00

So many folks that I receive email from, or who take a course with me, or are coaching clients teach me two important things: 1. Many cannot say clearly what they value in life, or,2. When they talk about their values, they don't connect them to daily living and working. Both of these create a sense of disconnection, anxiety, and even, chaos in our lives and work. I know because I had to wrestle

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-71584731221799915662008-11-19T09:05:00.000-08:002008-11-19T09:22:43.172-08:00

It was my birthday yesterday, and, I've had quite a few. Each year brings something new: new insights, experiences, people, challenges, opportunities. It was lovely to reflect on the past year and realize how rich life is. This is the first year I've really engaged in Facebook. I was not surprised to hear from family and old friends there, But, who knew that thirty-five FB "friends" would take

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-38733440611089546272008-11-15T07:29:00.000-08:002008-11-15T08:14:36.134-08:00

This is a big issue. It's easy to get caught in the rip tide of competing beliefs and competing emotions. I know that because I've frequently tried to swim in those waters! Just this morning, it happened. I was awakened way too early by my reckoning, but, I made the coffee and sat quietly. I noticed some unrest, some agitation within me. I pursued it in thought. What was that tension, that pull?

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-53187190292810525572008-11-11T13:10:00.000-08:002008-11-11T14:56:06.007-08:00

I know, right now there are a lot of people who could use your help. In fact, most of us could use some help. And, that's a good thing."Seems strange to me." That's what a coaching client said to me recently when I suggested that asking for help was a good thing. Her upbringing suggested to her that asking for help was an admission of weakness, of not knowing how to do something or what to do

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-55741483770582448942008-11-09T23:33:00.000-08:002008-11-09T23:49:20.175-08:00

What a big day! After weeks of preparing, writing, deciding and doing, the new membership website at http://www.tamingtensetimes.com/ launched. It's exciting. It perfect for me because it is the coming together of my work as a psychologist, coach, author, consultant and teacher. And, it combines that with helping folks meet the challenges and changes of tense, tough and turbulent times.As we

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-76112579776855062642008-11-06T07:43:00.000-08:002008-11-06T07:49:58.745-08:00

Today, I was cleaning the shower. It's such a boring task that my mind could wander at will.I started thinking about the last ten years of reaching out on the internet. Ten years of offering newsletters, websites, books, audio programs, teleseminars, to share insights, experience and expertise. As, I did that I started to get agitated, maybe even angry.I've studied with the "big guys" and learned

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-53086430051232171642008-10-31T18:40:00.000-07:002008-11-01T09:02:19.866-07:00

I was out walking my dog, Mystery, this morning as we do every day. He’s the best companion a woman could have: endless love, adoring eyes, and gratitude for everything, especially the constant tummy rubs.We walk on a back street that has apartments on both sides. The boulevards are beautifully kept and dogs are welcome in the apartments. Where I live, there is a “no dogs” attitude. They must not

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-84524271749100718122008-10-30T10:38:00.000-07:002008-10-30T11:02:01.420-07:00

Order. Routine. Structure. Systems. Do these words resonate and make your heart sing, or, do they feel confining, restricting and tension-producing? We're all different. There is no right way. We don't all get the same feelings from the same things. Some make piles, others make files.What I know doesn't work is beating yourself up for not being a perfectionist! There is a generally accepted idea

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-85009663439401180052008-10-29T10:09:00.000-07:002008-10-29T10:51:47.670-07:00

A friend has been having sleepless nights. He has trouble getting to sleep and then wakes too early, often averaging four hours a night. So, now, he has a horrible cough and a fuzzy head and his business is suffering. He can't focus and, right now, more than ever, he needs to!When general anxiety is raised by ever-changing media reports, it sometimes is difficult to get your head to shut off.

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-63932553617567864442008-10-28T09:42:00.000-07:002008-10-28T09:55:31.596-07:00

I guess because I am a psychologist and coach, I am hearing more stories about difficulties in relationshps as people panic. It's not uncommon.When anxiety rises, people look for someone to blame. Often, that's their partner. You know, those great sentences that begin with"If only you had...." "Why didn't you...?"Instead of turning to one another for solace and comfort, they turn to each other

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-29318130919297050232008-10-26T13:08:00.001-07:002008-10-26T13:56:02.971-07:00

We've all heard about the Law of Attraction. Sometimes a little too much!We've all likely heard about wire clothes hangers, too. They seem to entwine when you close the closet doors and leave them in the dark.What if we put these two ideas together in this way and create a cache for our cash?Before credit cards arrived, there was this oddity called "cash." People actually used it to buy things.

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-40651825859373371792008-10-24T16:55:00.000-07:002008-10-24T17:11:31.425-07:00

Oh, how the media would like to keep us stirred up, preparing for something absolutely terrible and completely unmanageable! That's their job. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, it's not news if it's not sensational.Isn't it enough to know that we need to pay more particular attention to our finances and become thoughtful about our future? I don't think it is at all likely that we need to get

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-67010575858856102782008-10-23T14:51:00.000-07:002008-10-23T16:53:13.978-07:00

You've no doubt noticed how easy it is to procrastinate. Almost any justification will do:"It's really not that important.Another day/week/decade won't really matter.People who get those things done are just too perfect.It will be better for me to do it after the office is clean."You know the drill. Thinking about this today because I have to talk with a reporter on the subject tomorrow, I

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-15484762799063570712008-10-20T15:19:00.000-07:002008-10-20T15:29:15.715-07:00

No kidding! This is the least expensive way to manage anxiety. It's also the most available and the most immediate. Everyone can do it. And, if you don't do it, your body will insist and eventually do it for you!You might even say, "Well, of course." when you read it, but, think of the benefits and the implications. This is very simple, however, you may have overlooked it as a regular

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-85729240867104687302008-10-04T14:06:00.000-07:002008-10-04T15:48:51.544-07:00

If you are like many, many people, conflict, or even the potential for confrontation, puts your stomach in knots and your legs heading for the door? It's common. Why? Because we never learned to handle these things well as we were growing up.That sounds so simplistic, but, it's true. Conflict management skills are learned. We tend to do what we've watched others do, or, what we've learned will

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8705970914680677846.post-29203938632546507642008-09-30T19:14:00.001-07:002008-10-04T15:48:19.588-07:00

Tame tense times. You can by taking pro-active steps to reduce the tension and take care of business! As we become aware of the fear that is quickly building in our economy, it is important to have tactics that will help you reduce stress and keep you calm and clear-headed. The number of folks trying to sell us things on the telephone is increasing. People are afraid of not being paid, so, they

Rhoberta Shaler, PhDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08494395998475822335noreply@blogger.com0